Question of Faith
A weekly question of faith answered by Cleveland Catholics. Fr. Damian Ference, Vicar of Evangelization and Deacon Mike Hayes Director of Young Adult Ministry in the Diocese of Cleveland co-host with frequent guests from the Diocesan Office who join in the conversation. Sponsored by Briefcase Marketing--check them out at https://www.Briefcase.marketing
Question of Faith
How to Avoid Materialism and Consumerism During the Holidays
Sponsored by Briefcase Marketing
What if the holidays were less about the gifts under the tree and more about the gifts of the heart? Join us as we explore this thought with Deacon Mike Hayes and Father Damian Ference, who take us through the richness of family traditions along with not rushing towards Christmas in favor of celebrating and experiencing Advent. From the cherished practice of the Advent log to the gradual unveiling of the nativity scene, we uncover the ways these rituals help us prepare for the true spirit of Christmas. Discover how integrating cultural practices like St. Nicholas Day can elevate our holiday celebrations to be more meaningful and less commercial.
Our conversation embraces the art of gift-giving that transcends materialism. We share delightful stories of giving "gifts of self" and the heartfelt tradition of crafting unique Christmas cards. Whether it's Fr. Damian's joy of handwritten letters or the vibrant cultural emphasis on Epiphany, these insights highlight the beauty of thoughtful gestures that speak to the heart. We invite you to rethink how you express love and appreciation during the festive season, focusing on quality time and personal touches that leave lasting impressions.
SPONSOR: Briefcase Marketing
At Briefcase Marketing, we create marketing that inspires action and delivers results. We will:
- Clarify your message to attract the right audience.
- Streamline your website to convert more visitors into customers, donors or volunteers.
- Create consistency to build trust and deepen relationships across every marketing platform (Emails, Ads, Social Media, Etc).
Check out just two of their recent successful clients who we know well.
Theology of the Body CLE
St. John Cantius Parish
St. John Cantius is also this week's Church Search!
Reflecting on holiday traditions, we journey through moments of peace and introspection that amplify the holiday spirit. Like visits to enchanting locales like Longwood Gardens in the Philly Area to the desert of Arizona at the Franciscan Renewal Center.
Readings for the 2nd Sunday of Advent can be found here.
Join us as we rediscover the joy of Advent, savoring its tranquility amidst the bustling preparation for Christmas.
Sponsored by Briefcase Marketing
On today's Question of Faith how to avoid materialism and consumerism during the holidays. Hey everybody, this is Question of Faith. I am Deacon Mike Hayes. I'm the Director of Young Adult Ministry here in the Diocese of.
Speaker 2:Cleveland, and I'm Father Damian Ferencz, the Vicar for Evangelization.
Speaker 1:What a question. How to avoid materialism and consumerism. This all kind of sort of comes from us talking about, like the difference between Advent and Christmas. Huh, that's right.
Speaker 2:So in the United States and many parts of the world, right after Thanksgiving, at least in the United States, begins what we call the holiday season.
Speaker 1:If not well before, depending on where you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Starbucks or something. It depends when they start making their Christmas cups or their holiday cups and playing Christmas music. But for many, I think Catholics included, it's around Thanksgiving time and hopefully it makes its way through the 12 days of Christmas. But in terms of our American culture, which can be very materialistic and consumeristic and a lot of emphasis and energy spent on things, rather than preparing our hearts for the coming of our Lord during the Advent season, working toward Christmas and then celebrating the Incarnation, how in the world do we keep our focus? I mean, that's what we want to get at today?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, yeah, it was funny. I was having this conversation with someone the other day and they were saying, like all the radio stations that play all the Christmas music, that they play them up until Christmas.
Speaker 2:Right, and then it stops at the end of Christmas Day.
Speaker 1:End of Christmas Day, yeah.
Speaker 2:Christmas season's a lot longer than that. One of my favorite Christmas records is oh Holy Joy or something. It's by David Crowder and he's not a Catholic, but he has Catholic sensibilities and he says something on there that you know too bad. Christmas is only one day. Well, it's not. It's 12 days. It's 12 days of Christmas, and I think on that live performance he's like it's day five, so let's go. And they went in a carol of the bells, which is pretty cool.
Speaker 1:Nice, yeah, yeah, very nice, all right.
Speaker 2:So how do we avoid these things right Materialism and consumerism? Well, there's different practices that people can have in their homes. I was just on the phone, maybe a half hour ago, with one of my dearest friends, who I've known since I was five years old. His name is Jeff. We went to Incarnate Word Academy together, so I've known him since kindergarten and I told him. I said I've got to run because we're going to do this podcast, but before I do, is there anything you do in your family? He has a wife and four children.
Speaker 2:The youngest is my goddaughter, one of my godchildren, and I said in your family, do you do anything for Advent? And he goes. You know, it's interesting, you should ask because we do an Advent log. And I said what the heck is an Advent log? His father-in-law made an Advent log out of a huge branch or a piece of wood from a tree in their backyard and drilled I don't know 25 holes in it, I guess. And each night the family gets together and they put a candle in one of those holes and they do a little prayer. And then he says as the season goes on, they pray every night, but more candles are added to the log and more light and then by Christmas Eve it's like a bright light. I thought, well, that's pretty cool. I've never heard of an Advent log before. I don't know if that was his father-in-law's idea or what, but it's pretty good Advent wreath on steroids yeah yeah, one a candle for every day in my family, they all purple.
Speaker 2:For, like I didn't ask, the color we have them on growing up in my house. After thanksgiving we would start to decorate the house for christmas. So we'd get a tree and we had a lot. We always had a live tree in the ferentz house growing up, which was fun in itself and keeping that thing watered and all. And my godfather had built us a little creche, a little nativity scene, and either my mom or dad had figurines from way back when, and so there were enough in there that every morning my brother or myself would go up and bring down a figurine and then so during Advent we were filling the stable with all the animals and the shepherds and all, and then finally on Christmas Eve one of us would bring down Jesus.
Speaker 2:So that was my mom's way of reminding us of what the season is about. Not getting you know the great gift is Christ himself. You know, god gives us his son, so that was good. We also did I don't know if your family did this we celebrated St Nicholas Day, so you put your stocking out and you got some usually some toothpaste and socks or something, or some scratch off lotto or an orange.
Speaker 1:Orange. Yeah, I was going to say fruit usually, and some people I know who did that. We did not have that tradition in our house. No, no, not really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's weird because after my mom died like I never got anything in my shoe again and I wondered maybe it was my mom and not St Nicholas. Yeah, it might have been. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, I remember when that there was no Santa my mom explained to me that Santa Claus is a saint and his spirit lives within all of us.
Speaker 1:So she, rather than devastating my life, you know, she kind of Theologize yeah, she theologize it. Yeah, that's kind of where I get my chops.
Speaker 1:I guess In. Yeah, in my family we would get the tree down fairly late, I think During Advent. It was mostly go to church, make a little Advent resolution of some sort, do something extra, do all those lines, that was pretty much it, and then we would get the tree out. But I can remember my mom and we didn't even have a real tree most years but I remember my mom would take that tree down so quick, like it would be, like, you know, december 26th, december 27th, so that's it All right, let's put this tree away. I'm like, wait really Now, when I was little I think it was a little different. They'd probably leave it up at least until New Year's, but they certainly did not leave it up until Epiphany.
Speaker 2:My godmother took is Candlemas the presentation. Yes, yeah, it's like February 2nd. Yeah, my godmother would leave hers up that long. That's very Eastern European, really. Yeah, she's Slovak. Yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah it makes sense right, and in my house now with Marion and I, she wants that tree up early, so we just put it up the other day.
Speaker 2:Fake or real?
Speaker 1:Well, real-ish, fake, or real, Well, real-ish. So it's a tabletop, but it's real. Oh, okay, because we have a dog, so the dog will pull it down.
Speaker 2:So we don't want to have accidents. It's small. It's small, but it's real. It's small, but it's real, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so usually right after Thanksgiving she'll want to go out and find one. So we found out Whole Foods this year, which was nice. They had them out when we were doing our food shopping. We said, oh, let's get this, and then we'll take an evening and decorate it early. We don't wait until Christmas to decorate it, but then no gifts go under the tree until Christmas Eve.
Speaker 1:That's one of the things. And then I'm in charge of the manger, and so I put everything out on the manger, except for the baby Jesus who gets hidden somewhere. There was a year where Marian decided to take charge of the baby Jesus, and so she hid baby Jesus, and then she could not find baby Jesus.
Speaker 2:I have a beautiful statue in my room of Our Lady and all year long she's holding Jesus in her lap, except during Advent I take him out and I have a very small nativity set in my sitting room and baby Jesus is right next to that other Jesus, so I won't lose them.
Speaker 1:In my more curmudgeonly years, I would always say why are we here? Baby Jesus isn't here. Why are Mary and Joseph kneeling?
Speaker 2:Oh, come on. You know why they're kneeling? Yeah, that is curmudgeonly. They're prayful people.
Speaker 1:They are, they're just getting ready.
Speaker 2:Why were they in this stable? Yeah well, it's just a way to get ready for things. In fact, my three kings are on the other side of my room and I'll start moving them slowly as things get closer.
Speaker 2:But how about in terms of shopping and presents and gifts? Because those certainly aren't bad and that's a way that many people show their love for each other. So how do you think a Catholic can go about doing those sorts of things without falling into materialism and consumerism? And all those isms basically mean that consuming and material things matter, take a primacy over the spiritual and over God and over love. So how is it that we can go about doing that?
Speaker 1:well, I think you know one of my colleagues at Busted Halo, bill McGarvey. He used to do this every year and I really admired him for doing it Instead of going out and buying a gift.
Speaker 2:He would make it with popsicle sticks.
Speaker 1:No, but interesting. But he would give a gift of self. So he would say I would like to take you to lunch sometime during the Christmas season or whenever it's convenient for you. I'd like to give you the gift of my time in some way, His love language must be quality time.
Speaker 2:Maybe, yeah, so he would to give you the gift of my time in some way. His love language must be quality time?
Speaker 1:Maybe yeah, and so he would do that all the time. He would figure out is there something you need? Is there something I can do for you? Is there an odd job around your house I can do. Is there, you know, like all those kinds of things which I thought was really neat. I was like that's a really good idea and we avoided calling him a cheapskate because that's what we thought he was doing it for initially.
Speaker 2:but that was not the case.
Speaker 1:It was really genuine. Do you do? Christmas cards or no, I do, and usually I'm in charge of that, and lately we've been doing the you know, like Shutterfly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a good question. We had a big argument about this one time, not my wife and I, but other friends. What picture do you put in your Christmas card?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and why, and why? I think that's why.
Speaker 1:Is it just a picture of you and the family at the beach? Or it says Merry Christmas and it's like the highlights of the year.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or do you put a Christmassy picture, and so usually I select on Shutterfly. I think usually they have an option. It has a manger already on the card and then we select whatever picture we want from whatever it might be it's usually a. Christmassy scene, though, for us, you know so in 2009 I start.
Speaker 2:When I was a parish priest, there was no way I could keep up with Christmas cards.
Speaker 2:It's just too fast-paced. But when I started at the seminary, there's a whole week off because the guys go home for school and I had time to work on a Christmas card. And in 2009, that was the first time and only time I ran a marathon in your hometown, new York City, very nice, and I ordered photos of me running. But I had I don't remember what I did, but it was a theological twist, like run the good race or something like that. And then from that year on, I've always designed my own Christmas card. Sometimes I've drawn it or I've taken pictures of my childhood. So it may not be a picture of Jesus, but it's always somehow about the incarnation.
Speaker 2:So, spoiler alert, this year's card is an image of the eclipse from April 9th, because I'm still reflecting on that. It was one of my favorite days of the whole year. And then I write a little note inside and I'll sign my name and on the back I have a little info about the day and all. But I don't buy a lot of gifts for people, but one of the ways that I stay in touch. I love mail. I was just at the post office this morning and I love sending mail and it's nice to have an original cart. So that's one of the ways that I give gifts, in a way that I don't think is too consumeristic or materialistic, and I hope that those who receive the gift are like oh, this gives me something to think about and to pray about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my wife and I have been trying to do. Let's pay for experiences as opposed to things, and so, instead, of getting someone a watch or a piece of jewelry, maybe even flowers. Right, let's give each other the gift of an experience. We'll go to a concert, or we'll go to a play, or go to a ball game or whatever it might be, so we'll get each other tickets for those kinds of things.
Speaker 2:That's cool.
Speaker 1:And again sort of like the gift of time in some ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, certainly Well, because you're spending quality time with another I love that.
Speaker 1:I think that's my number one love language yeah, and then I think that probably for us we don't have this experience, but probably it might be more difficult for people with children, because they're number one. They're like you know what is santa claus bringing me for for christmas and they make their little list of things and so you know, how do you do that with them? It's that that's, I think, a little bit harder maybe yeah, my nieces and nephews.
Speaker 2:They get cold hard cash, that's what I get and they like it. They like when uncle d gives them an envelope, because they know exactly what's in it because they're happy about it, then they get to buy what they want. So yeah, my nieces and nephews are jewish, so they'll get christmas gifts, but we do give them some for hanukkah, you know and same kind of thing well, interestingly, lynette and hortensia will say that in the Hispanic community Christmas is not as big on gift-giving as Three Kings as. Epiphany. That's where the gifts come in?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they bring the gifts.
Speaker 2:Right, which is pretty cool.
Speaker 1:I agree, All right. So hopefully people can avoid this kind of thing throughout the year. I always say put some thought into the gift, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Gift-giving is one of my love languages.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll tell you when it comes to thought. So I write a lot of handwritten letters and notes and today I went to the post office because I had to get some stamps. Some I got beautiful Mary and Jesus stamps, but I also had written a letter and I love it. When I ask the person at the counter, would you please cancel it with the red stamp so it has the date on it, normally they just throw it right into the machine, but if there's no one in line it looks so good when that red stamp goes on the stamp that you put on the thing, and so I got that to happen today.
Speaker 2:And then when you get the receipt, the person at the counter puts her name down or his name in this case it was a her and then you could go do a QR code review. And I did the review and I wrote how much it meant to me that she took the time to cancel my stamp with that beautiful red stamp, because she didn't have to do it. But no one is lying, and if everyone did that, the post office would be such a much better place. So we'll see how that goes down there. But hopefully she gets a raise because she stamped my envelope, cause I've been there. I'm like, would you stamp this? Like nope, and they just throw it back. I'm like, well, see you later. Yeah, big gulps, huh guys. So yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the post office is not my favorite place to be. There was no one there today. There was no one in line.
Speaker 2:It was wonderful and I love Flannery O'Connor's got this line. She writes I think it's on page 29 of her letters she says mail is very eventful to me, so getting a handwritten letter, nothing's better.
Speaker 1:Absolutely All right, speaking of commercials, so we have a new sponsor, our first sponsor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is exciting. It is very exciting We've made it big time when we have a sponsor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so our new sponsor, briefcase Marketing. They make sure that the churches you have seen, I'm sure, dozens of bad church websites. I mean, they don't even have the time masses things along those lines but they make sure that your church doesn't have scattered messaging a bad website. They make sure everything's looking really pristine.
Speaker 2:Briefcase marketing creates marketing for your church or church-based ministry that inspires action and delivers results. I mean they get the job done, absolutely.
Speaker 1:They clarify your message to attract the right audience. They streamline your website to convert mere visitors into customers, donors, volunteers, parishioners, whatever you need. They'll create consistency to build trust and deepen relationships across every marketing platform, be it email, ads, social media, whatever you have out there.
Speaker 2:And you need proof that this briefcase marketing works Well. They get great Google reviews. They've done superb work with our friends at Theology of the Body, Cleveland and St John Cancius Parish in Tremont.
Speaker 1:Those websites are pristine if you haven't seen them.
Speaker 2:Well, we'll put the samples of that work in our show notes and make it easier for you to check them out. So if you run some Catholic outfit or ministry or parish and you say we need to update our website, well, briefcase Marketing is the company for you.
Speaker 1:Yep, a clear message and a compelling website. They'll help you get more donors given to your mission, more volunteers ready to serve, more people sharing your message. And when you get more people sharing your message, they become your advocates.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you have a dumpy website, why would anyone trust you? But if you have a good-looking website, they'll say ah, I can trust you, so visit their website. That's briefcasemarketing and we've got their link in the show notes. Or text 308-627-1262. And our pal Dan First will take good care of you at Briefcase Marketing.
Speaker 1:Briefcase Marketing Always good. Yeah, they've been fun to work with too, so I'm glad that they have joined on with us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's exciting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, amen.
Speaker 2:So are we doing a church search?
Speaker 1:or what.
Speaker 2:Yeah, where are we going?
Speaker 1:Do you want to go to St John Cantor, since we mentioned them in our ad here?
Speaker 2:For a while, when I was at the seminary and before I was sent to Rome, I was keeping my eye on that place because the old pastor was retiring and I thought, man, I'd love that right in the heart of Tremont and if you're not familiar with our diocese, tremont is a traditionally Polish Catholic neighborhood it's experienced re-gentrification, new life, great restaurants, great bars, and that parish is right in the heart of the whole city. Father Jim Roach is the pastor there. He does fine work. He's renovated the interior of that church, does great work with married couples and he himself is a. For his hobby, he refurbishes old typewriters.
Speaker 1:No, kidding yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, brother Ben Jimenez, my Jesuit friend who loves to send mail to me, by the way, yes, he does Gifted me with a manual typewriter, refurbished by Father Roach, for finishing my dissertation in Rome. Wow, yeah.
Speaker 1:He's also the chaplain for the Brands.
Speaker 2:Hoorah, they did not play Well. They couldn't run the ball last night, which is why winston threw like for 440 yards, which was wonderful, but two picks that turned out to be touchdowns, and that was it, man yeah, that's rough, rough for you, but they'll be back, I go.
Speaker 1:Calves, yeah, they're doing well, and so, uh, st john, canchus and tremont and it kind of restored recently yeah and the other.
Speaker 2:I was in philly this weekend and I was visiting my buddy, father Alex Gibbs, who I studied in Rome with, and Saturday no, friday night he took me to some place called Longwood, which is this wonderful park it's like an arboretum and Christmas lights and all this. And then that night we watched the Christmas Story, you know, with Ralphie and Randy, and that was filmed in Cleveland, although it takes place in the story in Indiana. But the house is actually in Tremont, so I think it might be within the boundary of Father Jim Roach's parish it's either his or Riley's at Michael's on Scranton. It's either his or Riley's at Michael's on Scranton. But anyway, if you're ever in Cleveland and you want to visit that historic Christmas story house, you might as well then stop by at St John Cancia's Church too and make it a twofer.
Speaker 1:I have a really cute story about that. So my friends went to the Christmas story house the week of my ordination. And it was Cinco de Mayo the day that they went, and it was the day after my ordination actually.
Speaker 1:And they're playing mariachi music in there because it's Cinco de Mayo and my friend said, oh, it's interesting being in here while there's mariachi music on in this Christmas Story House. She goes yeah, you know, it was great. Yesterday she said we had Star Wars music in here because it was Star Wars Day, and today we got Cinco de Mayo music and then all of a sudden her face just got deflated. And tomorrow we go back to Christmas music Because they play it all year long Well in the middle of May yeah.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. Go on a day if you want to make them happy. Go on a day when it's another holiday, it's not. Christmas it would be a good time. Yeah, christmas story, I have not been there myself actually.
Speaker 2:I have not been inside. Rowley's Pub is across the street and they have really good chili and good beer, so I've been there, but I've never been in the Christmas house.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll have to make a whole field trip one day.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Take the one day. Yeah, take the whole crew, alright. So second Sunday of Advent Oof already, and now we're in Luke's Gospel in year C, and one of the things that stood out for me in the Gospel this week was a voice of one crying out in the desert as they talk about John the Baptist early there. I always think we all have a voice. How do we use our voice? What might we use our voice for differently this Advent in order to bring Jesus into the light of someone else? The other thing in that that I thought was really interesting is that a voice of one crying out in the desert. Well, no one's in the desert. So here's this voice crying, this lone voice crying out. Aren't there hidden voices in our lives all the time that we just let fall, follow and not listen to?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, when we talk about the desert too, that we could consider the desert of our lives, and that's where, oftentimes, even though it's painful in the desert and dry, the Lord will take us there to speak into our hearts, because we'll listen and he wants to save us there. So, yeah, prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths.
Speaker 1:You recently went on retreat in the desert, did you not?
Speaker 2:I did at that Franciscan renewal center. Yeah, it was really nice, it was hot, but yeah, I mean the desert of the mountain. I mean the Lord needs to pull us out of the city because there's way too many distractions in the city and he's got to get us in a place that's uncomfortable, so that we can remember how much we do rely upon him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, For me it's the water as opposed to the desert of the mountains.
Speaker 2:Yeah, same I mean, but it's not the city.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Water could be refreshing, but it could also be treacherous. So you know, you have both of those things you can concentrate on during retreat if you're by the water, yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's nice and it's calming, like it's deep, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's why I live by the lake. You know my front window looks right out on. Yeah, avoid materialism.
Speaker 2:Like consuming some things and having material things is not bad, but when they take high priority then they keep us from being happy and who we're supposed to be.
Speaker 1:My dear friend, amy, used to say all the time do I want it? It's okay to want it, but do I need it? Is the next question. And so she would say she would drill this into her children. So then one day one of her kids came home and they have a staircase in their house and a little balcony area and all of a sudden she feels a pair of socks hit her in the head from the balcony and she turns around and it's her daughter looking at her and she's frowning at her and she like, what the heck you hit me with this pair of socks. What's going on?
Speaker 1:And she said all day long I'm walking around the mall with my friends and I'm trying to have a good time. They're all doing all kinds of shopping and I just hear your voice in my head the whole time going do you want it or do you need it? Do you want it or do you need it? Do you want it or do you need it? And I realized the only thing I needed were those pairs of socks which I sell here. And Amy was like parenting win. So all right, so enjoy Advent. That's probably even a better way to say this.
Speaker 2:Enjoy Advent? Yeah, enjoy it.
Speaker 1:Get into the spirit of Advent, as opposed to rushing Christmas into your heart. All right, we'll have this and a whole lot more next time here on Question 4.
